Ernie Whippersnapper

Baron Ernie Whippersnapper Snr. was a member of the SFPWCSTR for three days during the autumn of 1990. He is thought to have been born in Yorkshire but not much is known about him. His hobbies included stamp collecting, juggling and collecting vintage pornography. Ernie, after three days of joining the SFPWCSTR, went missing on the 21st of September 1990. This sinister occurence has became known as 'Erniegate'. Many conspiracy theories exist about Ernie's dissapearance. Some say that he was a spy working for Louis Limberg and after he had gathered the information needed, he travelled back to Mount Doom. Others say he's working in a Las Vegas club as the caretaker under a false indentity. Some say Ernie was murdered by Flumpen Knickenwonka after a feud about the arguable quality of Slade. Flumpen himself has denied this. Others say he's the current actor for Ronald McDonald for McDonalds. Even Devoted Christian Richard Dawkins has got in on the craze for Ernie Whippersnapper, which has been coined as 'Erniemania'. Dawkins claims that Ernie 'is in Heaven with God'. Ernie's heritage is also a subject of great discussion, to the point where The Woganator claimed on a 2009 episode of Wogan's Total Recall that he was infact Ernie Whippersnapper's father. The Woganator was then quizzed and, once things got going, raped by the police.

Purported Sightings
There has been many sightings of someone proposed to be Ernie Whippersnapper since his dissapearance. Farmer and Vegetarian activist Kurt Hendrix claims to have seen Ernie walking in one of his fields in 1998. The person thought to be Ernie was beaten up and after being taken inside Kurt's home and probed in multiple ways, was shown not to remember a single thing about himself. The man soon escaped from Mr. Hendrix's house and was never seen again.

Another sighting was in 2006 by worker Andy Warhol at Tetley Tower. Andy claims he saw Ernie walking through Tetley Tower screaming seemingly incontrollably and then dissapearing into thin air. Andy claims that the man he saw that he claims to have been Ernie was wearing nothing but a turqoise mankini and a top hat.